Am I stupid?
I use my blog to tell you whereabouts I am in re-writing my novel. Yet I am left wondering whether anyone actually cares. There is no guarantee that this is the novel that will help me get an agent, even though it’s the story I love.
So, why do I keep updating you on the novel’s progression?
14th July 2007. That is the day that Juniper Brown came into my life and although I only wrote a 20,000 word novella, and the tale has changed considerably, at the centre of it, Juniper Brown is the one character I never tire of.
If I were attempting to be literary I would say that Juniper Brown explores how teenagers are what their society expects them to be, and what would happen if their expectations were wrong. This is true for JB and the characters that have come into the story as we’ve progressed.
I am still writing for myself, yet I know that one day, once the novel is polished and everything I could hope for, that I will start querying agents.
That might not happen this year, but one day it will, and then I’ll need support as I once again become an emotional wreck.
Originally, this was a post telling you that I’d finished Chapter Two, and that it’s made me understand some of the character motivations more than I thought possible. I’m a big fan of the idea that no one can know everything about everyone, so it’s something I’m hoping to explore more as I progress.
We’re at 11,000 words now, only 74,000 to go.
A short post, but I’m slightly melancholic, and I shouldn’t be.
Until next time, that is all.
(I shall include my lyrics, ‘Living off Raindrops’, as they kind of capture the mood for me:
If I must, I’ll drown in the rain,
let it shower me, till I’m unclean.
When you arrive, I’ll still be here,
hold and cover me, just keep me near.
I can forget if you want me to;
can deny them if you need it,
just don’t leave me lying here,
I don’t want to be alone.
And I’m lying in the gutter
unable to move.
It takes all I have to shiver
and admit it was you.
You told me you’d be here
but your claims fell flat
now I’m living off raindrops
till you come back.
Wish I may, I’ll try to live a lie
let it become me, till I die.
Wish I might, forgive your sordid past
it ain’t fidelity, it’s barely lust.
I can demand if you want me to;
can prevent them if you need it,
just don’t leave me lying here,
I don’t want to be alone.
And I’m lying in the gutter
unable to move.
It takes all I have to shiver
and admit it was you.
You told me you’d be here
but your claims fell flat
now I’m living off raindrops
till you come back.
When it rains it pours
in a mock applause
to your distorted performance.
When the rain destroys
it’s all over me,
all I can be is under the thumb.
- I’m so under the thumb.
And I’m lying in the gutter
unable to move.
It takes all I have to shiver
and admit it was you.
You told me you’d be here
but your claims fell flat
now I’m living off raindrops
till you come back.
